Mar 4, 2009

Stop snitchin'

A few months back, I recall seeing a "Stop Snitchin'" pendant like this one in a stall at a Xidan shopping mall here in Beijing:

I doubt that most shoppers in Beijing grasp the English meaning of the phrase on the necklace, let alone know about the whole snitchin' campaign.

The other day I was walking to work, as I do most days, and I observed a handful of dudes, as well as a dudette or two, spitting onto the sidewalk as they walked. Spring must be close, since the spit of late is looking pretty clear. Unlike during the harsh winter months, there's no yellow and green lumpy loogies. It's all healthy, liquidy saliva. The same day, when I was waiting for the elevator in the lobby of our office building after lunch, an office worker dude spit a stringy pool into the previously spotless metal pan atop the knee-high garbage bin. Par for the course, I know, but I was still a little unsettled.

Later that day, I was listening to Obie Trice's song "Snitch". I thought of the Stop Snitchin' gear, like the pendant I had seen in the market. A brilliant marketing idea occurred to me. We can make a localized version of these products, where instead of "Stop Snitchin'", they write "Stop Spittin'". These products would be highly applicable to the local scene, and they would have that cool-looking hip-hop flavor.

I would wear a Stop Spittin' pendant wherever I went. Every time I would see somebody spitting where they shouldn't be, I'd hold up my pendant with one hand and point at it with the other one. There'd be a new fashion trend. After it grew strong enough, all the spitters would start to swallow their saliva like normal people. Latent TB infections would go down, and I could find something new to complain about.

I'll keep my blog updated when I get some investors for this new venture. And, in case you weren't grossed out enough by my spit and phlegm anecdotes, here's a close up of salivary flora. Enjoy!


Blogger Vickie said...

Good blog! I'll fully support you on the creative idea and I would love to be the second person who wore the "stop spittin'"pendant to show people who did the stupid spitting thing. Meanwhile I'd also love to remind you to do the patent application first before we got any investors :)

9:17 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home