Jan 14, 2009

The farmer's blow

From Urban Dictionary:
farmer's blow

The process of plugging one nostril, and blowing air out of the other, in order to shoot out mucus. In order to make this technique successful, you must use great force, otherwise you will just look retarded when you have one nostril covered and are breathing heavily in front of your friends. But if you get that dang snot of of there...you will be known as a stud.

Jim had a nasty cold, and didn't have any tissues. He decided a farmer's blow would do lots of good, until he shot it on his girlfriend's prime rib.
In Beijing, January is not only the season of the lunar new year, but also the season of the farmer's blow, the snot rocket, and loogie hock.

Today, as I was strolling to lunch beneath the unusually clear and midday sunshine, a forty-something male office worker was walking in front of me. As he walked along, he covered one nostril, and blew a clear stream of snot at a forty-five degree angle towards the ground. The liquid glistened in the sun. Part of the snot aerosolized, carried away in the breeze. The remainder collected in a spatter on the ground.

Feeling especially generous, I called after the office worker, who was now about ten yards away.

"Hi!", I shouted politely, in Chinese.

As he turned back to see who it was, I reached in my back pocket. As the man faced me, I pulled out a one yuan coin, and held it out in front of me.

"Here's one yuan, you can go buy some tissues", I offered to him, again, very courteously.

After about five seconds of brain processing time, the man raised his hand dismissively. "Thanks", he told me, as he waved me away, and left without accepting my offer.

I'd like to think that this particular office worker will think twice in the future before doing a snot rocket in the middle of our high tech office park, but only time will tell. Until then, I'll keep a supply of one yuan coins in my pocket, ready to hand out to other tissue-challenged individuals.

2 Comments:

Blogger Vickie said...

It's cool to be an angry young man again; we all admire you for the sense of humor and environment protecting. Never stop doing that :)

8:37 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

@Vickie:

谁知道呢?我是个美国愤青还是个现代的雷锋?

5:48 PM  

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