Feb 28, 2005

subway anecdote

In China, rather than wearing diapers, babies just have a flap near their “output ports”. When it's time to go, the parents can just open the flap and the kid can relieve himself, usually by squatting on the sidewalk. This is prerequisite knowledge for the anecdote that follows.


The other day I was riding a very crowded Beijing subway during rush hour. A woman was sitting in the train with her two year-old toddler standing between her knees. He was just standing there screaming at the top of his lungs for several minutes. I did my best to ignore it, but I finally looked over to see what the fuss was about. The kid just couldn't hold it anymore, so his mother unbuttoned the flap and he let loose with a nice, long number one right in the subway car. The problem with this was that the kid didn't squat down. He chose rather to remain standing between his mother's knees, so the liquid had to fall about two feet to the floor. This led to a nice CSI-style splatter effect all over some businessman whose back was turned to the whole scene. When the guy finally walked away, there was a set of dry shoe prints in the splatter and mist that had engulfed his pants. At each subsequent station when the train started to accelerate, the puddle of liquid ran further back toward the end of the car, causing the people sitting there to squirm in their seats to try and dodge it.

2 Comments:

Blogger will891 said...

I saw this at a restaurant near the bus station on the Island. In Guangzhou at a hospital I saw a guy spitting and blowing snot from his nose. Unreal.

8:48 AM  
Blogger will891 said...

Saw this once in a restaurant near the bus station on the Island. At a hospital in Guangzhou I saw a guy spitting on the floor, another guy blowing snot from his nose. Unreal.

8:48 AM  

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